第12篇丨帶領第二代事工的錯誤—李道宏牧师

帶領兒童（信二代 – 信徒的子女）事工的同工都盼望每個家長都能參與，可是我們卻常犯以下錯誤，導致家長不願意投入，這些是我自己（教會領袖）的失敗經歷：

1.搔不着癢處的溝通

與家長溝通是必要的，可是當我們太著重細節、或用轟炸式態度、又繁瑣又雜七雜八的討論，使得家長們抓不到重點，就忽略了我們要傳達的重點。

2.造成「這是我的事工！」的錯誤印象

為甚麼我們有熱忱，也滿有使命感，可是卻常感到孤掌難鳴，有心無力？這也許是我們認為家長們是失敗的，需要我來幫助他們。「我比他們更了解孩子的需要！更明白他們的靈命光景！」無論這是否實際情況，但這想法只會令我們失去家長的認同和支持。我是否願意主動聽聽家長們的建議？

3.嘗試取代家長

家長是兒女靈命的塑造者！雖然，我們的使命是正確的，主也讓我們看見這神聖與美好的異象，但是，孩子靈命的成長，最終還是他們父母的責任。信二代的事工目的應該是協助家長，而不是取代家長。

4.強迫每個家長都要參與

每個家長有不同恩賜和領受，也有不同的限制。我們是不是在不知不覺中把不切實際的期望放在他們身上？有些父母不想參與，強迫也不是好辦法。有家長參與是好，但必須出自甘心樂意。

總而言之，當教會信二代的牧養陷入孤軍作戰的局面時，我們要反省自身，我是否是難阻家長不能投入的絆腳石？

How to Completely DIS-Engage Parents from Your Children’s Ministry

Posted by Greg Baird

The obvious goal is to engage parents in your ministry. Sometimes, however, we do just the opposite. Sometimes we push them away, require things which are unrealistic, completely disregard their own circumstances…and a lot more. All this does is harm our ministry and actually work against what we are trying to accomplish.

Here are a few ways I’ve experienced and observed parents being dis-engaged from ministry:

Over Communicate Trivial Information

I used to believe that you couldn’t communicate enough. Wrong! In our information saturated world, people receive literally thousands of messages a day. Focus on communicating what matters, when it matters.

In your ministry, focus on communicating what matters, when it matters. Don’t bombard parents with useless information.

Make Your Ministry All About Your Ministry

When I work with churches to help them create healthy children’s ministry, I’ll often ask them something like: why are you offering this program – who does it benefit? Inevitably the answer is all about something that someone in the ministry envisioned rather than about meeting a need for families. It’s pretty easy for us (church staff) to get excited about something – we live and breath this stuff! – but if it’s not meeting a need and being relevant to the families in your church, good luck getting them to buy in.

If a program in your ministry is not meeting a need and being relevant to the families in your church, good luck getting them to buy in.

Assume Responsibility For The Spiritual Formation Of Their Kids

Parents completely understand that they are responsible. However, churches often present ministry in such away that communicates that the church is responsible, never making an attempt to equip or partner with parents. Unfortunately, because parents often don’t know how to invest spiritually in their children, they often will simply step back and allow the church to take over.

Place Unrealistic Expectations On Them

Recently at a conference I spoke at I was asked a question I’m often asked: should we require parents to serve in children’s ministry? My answer: an emphatic “NO!”

I have no idea if their giftedness and passions align with our vision (some parents I actually don’t want serving…but if it’s a requirement it’s hard to pick and choose!).

I don’t know what challenges they are facing right now that this requirement might exacerbate. I and my ministry is here to serve families, not make life more challenging for them.

I do know that the typical family is incredibly over scheduled, and requiring service may just cause them to reconsider being part of the church, or not to get connected in the first place. That’s the last thing I want to happen.

So instead of requiring service, I see it as my responsibility to create an environment that they want to serve in – something that ranks higher than other areas they might give their time to – and then invite them to serve by sharing a clear and compelling vision for what we are doing.

It’s my responsibility to create an environment that parents WANT to serve in, not demand that they check a service box to meets my needs.

What other things cause parents to DIS-engage from our ministries?